Are You Making Peace—or Just Avoiding Conflict?

Matthew 5:9 and the courage to become a peace-doer

By Pastor John Erickson

I don't know many people who wake up in the morning and think, You know what would make today fantastic? A really uncomfortable conversation.

Most of us would prefer a quiet day. No drama. No arguments. Nobody sending the text message that begins, "We need to talk."

So when Jesus says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God," we might assume he's praising people who keep everything pleasant.

But a peacemaker and a peacekeeper aren't always the same thing.

Sometimes keeping the peace means pretending there's no problem. Making peace means being willing to address the problem in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus.

And that takes courage.

Jesus gives ordinary people a remarkable calling

Jesus gives ordinary disciples a calling that reaches beyond keeping the room quiet. We do not need a title or a position of power to begin repairing what is broken around us.

And he is talking about an entirely different kind of peace.

The peace of God's kingdom is not simply the absence of shouting. It includes the restoration of relationships, the pursuit of justice, and becoming whole with God and with one another.

We have worked on a patio at our house, complete with a free couch. Sitting out there by myself can be wonderfully serene. But the picture that helps me understand biblical peace is being there with my kids, sitting by the fire and enjoying one another.

Quiet is lovely. Wholeness is something deeper. Peace is not just getting everyone to stop making noise; it is learning to share life well.

Being right can become a poor substitute for peace

We are remarkably good at turning disagreements into battles.

We assign motives to people we barely understand. We collect evidence proving they're the problem. We replay conversations and imagine ourselves delivering a closing argument that would make a courtroom erupt into applause.

The trouble is, we can win an argument and lose a person.

Peacemaking doesn't require us to abandon truth. Jesus never asks us to stop caring about what is right. But he does ask us to care how we treat people while we're pursuing what is right.

He forms people who can speak honestly without contempt, acknowledge their own contributions to a conflict, and refuse the satisfaction of revenge.

That last part is especially difficult.

I have complained about politicians. I can raise my own hand on that one. The harder question is whether I have spent as much time praying for them as complaining about them.

If I want to be a peacemaker, that question belongs in my life too.

Peace is something you do

Romans 12:18 tells believers, as far as it depends on them, to live at peace with everyone. I appreciate that phrase. It recognizes we cannot control another person's response.

You may apologize sincerely and not receive forgiveness. You may pursue reconciliation and discover the other person isn't willing. Sometimes distance and boundaries are necessary, especially where harm continues.

But you can still take responsibility for your part.

You can stop feeding gossip. You can approach someone directly instead of collecting an audience. You can listen long enough to understand why a person sees a situation differently.

You can ask, What would move this relationship toward truth and healing?

Those steps can feel painfully small. Yet they are how a different kind of community begins to grow.

This isn't simply a lesson in being nicer, because niceness can sometimes avoid the very truth that would lead to healing. A peacemaker doesn't ask everyone to pretend the wound is gone. Peace that comes from denial is fragile. It usually lasts only until someone brings up the subject again. The peace Jesus offers is deeper. It creates room for honesty, confession, repair and forgiveness. That is harder to build, and it takes longer, but it is the kind of peace that can actually hold when the next disagreement comes.

Children who look like their Father

Jesus doesn't simply say peacemakers will have fewer arguments. He says they will be called children of God.

That's identity language.

We define ourselves by all kinds of things. Our jobs. Our relationships. The roles we've worked hard to earn. But many of those identities can change.

To be called a child of God is different. And Jesus says peacemaking shows something about the family resemblance.

When we move toward people with mercy, courage and honesty, we reflect the God who moved toward us in Christ.

The early Christian community was remarkable in part because people of very different social positions were brought together. Their unity was never built on everyone being identical. It was built around Jesus.

Which means the church is a place where we practice this difficult kind of peace, not merely a place where we talk about it.

What peace might ask of you

Maybe you have a relationship that has grown cold because neither person wants to take the first step. Maybe you're carrying resentment and it's starting to shape the way you talk about someone.

Or maybe your version of peace is silence: you avoid hard conversations until the pressure finally explodes.

What would actual peacemaking look like?

It might be a phone call. It might be a confession that you contributed to the problem. It might be speaking a hard truth with gentleness. It might be pursuing outside help when the conflict is too deep to navigate alone.

Jesus doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to be peacemakers.

And when we do that-even imperfectly-we begin to look a little more like our Father.