What Does It Actually Mean to Remain in Jesus' Love?

By Pastor John Erickson

There are some words we use in church that sound wonderful right up until someone asks us to explain them.

Abide is one of those words.

We sing about abiding in Jesus. We talk about remaining in him. But what does that look like when you're driving to work, arguing with your spouse, helping with homework, or staring at a calendar that has absolutely no room left in it?

I don't think Jesus intended for this to be a mystery reserved for people who have a lot of free time. He was inviting his disciples into a way of life.

Jesus Was Preparing His Friends for a Different Relationship

In John 15, Jesus is talking to his disciples near the end of his earthly ministry. They've spent years following him in person. They have eaten together, traveled together, asked him questions, watched him care for people, and probably laughed together more than we usually imagine.

But things are about to change.

He knows they won't always be able to walk up and ask him something face-to-face. He begins telling them how their relationship with him will continue.

He uses a picture of a vine and branches. A branch doesn't manufacture life independently. It remains connected to the vine, receives what it needs, and bears fruit because of that connection.

That's what Jesus is inviting them into.

And then he says something worth lingering over: as the Father has loved him, he has loved them, so they are to remain in his love.

I love how personal that is.

Love Isn't Just a Nice Word

How would you define love?

Maybe somebody tells you they love you every morning. That's good. But what if they never listen, never show up, and never care about what you're going through? Those words start to feel pretty empty.

Or perhaps someone makes you coffee every morning. That's a loving gesture. But if a barista hands you a latte, you probably aren't going to assume you've entered a deeply committed relationship.

Love is bigger than words or isolated actions.

Jesus doesn't hand the disciples a dictionary and give them a theological definition. He points them to the relationship between the Father and the Son, and then he offers his own life as the example.

They've watched him make time for people others overlook. They've seen how he treats the sick, the hurting, the outsider, and the person everyone else has given up on.

Soon they will see the depth of his love at the cross.

If we want to know what it means to love, we have to keep looking at Jesus.

Obedience Is Not the Opposite of Love

Here's where the conversation gets uncomfortable.

In John 15:10, Jesus connects remaining in his love with keeping his commands.

Wait. I thought we were talking about a relationship, not rules.

We were. We still are.

But for some reason, we often imagine that love and obedience can't belong in the same sentence. We want a relationship with Jesus that doesn't require us to change anything. We want to receive his love while remaining in complete control of our lives.

That's not how a relationship of trust works.

When you deeply trust someone, their words matter to you. When that person has demonstrated love and wisdom, you begin to shape your choices around what you know is good.

Jesus isn't saying we must earn his love through perfect performance. Notice the order: he has loved the disciples, and then he invites them to remain in that love.

I love gyro salads from a local place called Gyro Zone. I have ordered often enough that they know me by name. Once, when I ordered something different, someone came out to my car to make sure it was what I meant to order. Apparently, I had become predictable.

It is a good relationship. They provide food; I pay for it. But that exchange is the context.

How easily we turn our relationship with God into something similar: I read my Bible, I attend church, and in return he owes me a peaceful week. Or if the week goes badly, I assume I must not have paid enough spiritual attention.

Jesus invites us into a relationship that transforms us, rather than a transaction that puts him in our debt. Obedience matters because we are learning to live with him, not because we are buying his affection.

His commands show us what life connected to him looks like. Especially the command to love one another as he has loved us.

This is not the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want. It's a new way of living, where love begins to reshape what I want.

The Goal Is a Life That Overflows

One of the challenges of spiritual growth is that we often want a dramatic experience rather than a lasting relationship.

We want to attend a powerful service, hear something profound, and then get on with the rest of our lives. Those moments can matter. But a branch doesn't survive by visiting the vine once a week.

The invitation is to remain.

To let our thoughts, habits, decisions, and relationships be formed by Jesus over time.

In John 15:11, Jesus says the purpose of these words is that his joy may be in us and our joy may be full.

I've used the picture of filling a cup with water. You keep pouring until the water reaches the top. Then you keep pouring, and it begins to overflow.

That's the picture I want for my life. Not an empty cup that I desperately try to top off whenever I'm running low, but a life so filled with the love of Jesus that it spills into the way I treat other people.

There will be messy days. We will make mistakes. We will have to come back and remember what matters.

But we're not trying to produce spiritual fruit by gritting our teeth. We're learning to stay close to the source of life.

Begin with One Ordinary Decision

You don't need to rearrange your entire life before you can begin abiding.

Ask yourself what it would look like to remain aware of Jesus while doing something you already have to do.

Maybe you begin the morning reading a few verses from John 15. Maybe you turn a drive into a conversation with God instead of another hour of noise. Maybe you're about to respond sharply to somebody and remember how Jesus has loved you.

The question isn't simply, "Did I do my spiritual activity today?"

It's, "Am I learning to live in the love I've already received?"

Abiding is not a religious performance. It's making your home in Jesus, day after day, until his love becomes the way you live.